Apr.10.01

I'm home eating my version of tuna casserole, and the husband's out eating at a posh restaurant with his new co-workers. What's wrong with this picture?

I emailed H&M the other day, begging them to put a location here in Chicago. They told me that they had no plan to open a store in Chicago, "but that it's always good to know about a potential market." How annoying and disappointing! And they don't even have online ordering capabilities! I'm mad! I mean, they have locations in Paramus, New Jersey, and Waterbury, Connecticut, but they can't find the time and energy to put a freaking location in the THIRD LARGEST CITY IN THE UNITED STATES?? Hmph!

Dammit, their clothes are so good and cheap! How can they let me down like this? Ohhh...H&M...you hurt me...

Oh, and C. and I have determined that we have a mystery on our hands. I call the mystery:

The Case Of The Phantom Vomiter(da-da-dah!)

For the past several months (several!!), we have been noticing that someone has been vomiting between our car and the neighbor's car in the backyard. It's usually in the same spot, except for the time I found a bottle full of the nasty stuff in the bushes. It's horrible and gross for all of the obvious reasons. Once C. even accidentally stepped in some. He was so horrified he almost didn't tell me. I just assumed it was the guy we always see stumbling to and from the bar around the corner. And then this past weekend, we had a break in the case. Here's the crazy part: I unfortunately found some of the nasty stuff in a (formerly) empty laundry soap bottle in the communal laundry area! Now it's just a matter of figuring out which of the four neighbors it is...Ummm...or maybe I don't wanna know. C. thinks the girl upstairs has an eating disorder or something. After all, it is her car parked there next to ours. I just wish it would S-T-O-P. It's really disgusting.

I can't tell you how embarassing it is to admit this, but today my new job made me cry. It was terrible. Answering the phone is my responsibility, as well as about 20 other things, and I was being pressured by the new boss to get a bunch of stuff done, and the phone won't work, and I can't find the Celery postcards, and next thing I know I'm looking for a place to hide so no one will see me de-pressurize. Y'see, I'm a crier. When things get tough, or super-frustrating, or super-super confusing, I have to let steam off by crying. I can't always control it, but believe me, if I could I would in a second. I hate crying. It always comes out at the worst times, and it makes me look like a total fool. A moron. A weakling. The thing is, I know that if I just take a moment and calm down, everything's fine. But more often than not, I'm trying to calm down and all it takes is for someone to see me and ask "What's wrong?" to make it all worse. God, if I could just control it better. Crying in front of someone you don't really know is almost as bad as wetting the bed in my mind...I know it's bad also because just being a woman can be hard enough in certain situations, but for some people, crying just reinforces the "weak woman" stereotype.

And I like to think of myself as a pretty tough lady. I've been a lot of places, done and seen a lot of things. And sometimes I cry. Okay?

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