Where to begin?

Well, I suppose I'll just start with the most important thing, the thing that has been on our minds since just before we left.

Our friend Sh. died. He was killed.

We had been out having a great time visiting with some old friends. We came back to G.L.'s apartment where we were staying, and saw on the caller ID that someone had called from our place. We immediately thought the worst--our apartment had been broken into, our cat was dead...but when we called A.M. to find out what had happened, we found that it was so much worse than we could ever imagine. It happened on Thursday, late afternoon. Sh. had been riding his bike, when someone opened their car door on him. He was knocked off his bike, into traffic, and he was then run over by a city maintenance truck. He was rushed to the hospital and was coherent on arrival, but he died soon after that.

We were so shocked. Sh. was such a good person. He was young and funny and a great husband to his wife. He was a good friend.

All of this puts a fear into me, when I think about how it could have been any one of my friends. Or it could have been my mate out there riding his bike. It's one of the greatest fears, to think that when you're kissing your husband/wife/significant other goodbye as they run out to work, or down to the store, you might never see them again. It's morbid, but I think everyone has thought it at some time in their lives. You hope it won't happen, you tell yourself it won't happen...

But then, sometimes it does. Sh.'s wife is living proof.

All of the cliches apply--it was such a senseless death, he was too young, too good. Why did this have to happen?

For me, thinking about Sh.'s death has brought a lot of issues of religion to the surface. Is there a heaven? What about god? Sometimes I believe in god, sometimes I think it's just my brain's way of comforting myself through scary, uncertain, or rough times. I have prayed--in fact, I pray every time I get on an airplane. You can take the girl out of Catholicism, but you can't blah, blah, blah...Sometimes, falling back on those beliefs is very comforting. But I am truly an agnostic.

That's all I can say for now.

We'll miss you, friend.

Love,

me