Jul.16.01

Today was my first official jobless weekday. This morning I was awakened (by C. saying goodbye before going to work, poor guy) from this dream:

I was supposed to be cooking a super-fancy dinner for some reason...some kind of "Iron Chef"-type of thing...and I was making Spanish Rice from a just-add-water pouch, as well as some dish with pine needles in it(??), and deviled eggs. I was not quite finished with the preparations for the meal and I had only five minutes to go. I kept thinking, "Well, the rice isn't too impressive, but at least I have these deviled eggs."

I woke up before I could find out the end.

What does this mean??

I was a very busy girl today. Punched-up my resume for a possible job opportunity. I got my sister a (belated) birthday gift. Then I made a birthday card, wrapped the gift, and boxed it for shipping. Not bad. Shame her birthday was last Friday. She's just a kid too, so I feel extra-bad for not getting this out on time.

She's my much, much younger half-sister. We share a father, technically. I never grew up with my biological father. I grew up with my Dad. Technically he's my step-dad, but you will never hear me call him that. Anyway, I grew up with no siblings, so doesn't that mean I'm an only child? But I still call her my sister, because when you have no other siblings, you're happy to take what you get. I think she feels the same way. Weird that we're both technically alone, but we have a distant sibling that's more like a cousin. I love her, my little sis, but I hardly know her, and that's sad. They live all the way in Idaho. It's hard for me to find many reasons to go to the Idaho farmlands, and for them it's hard to find reasons to come to the "big city." C. hasn't even met that part of my family. They didn't come to the wedding because M. (my father) said it was too expensive for them to travel. That made me kind of mad at first, but now...I don't know. I guess I'm just a little sad and a little weirded-out. Sad because I wanted to share an important event with them (since my father missed basically everything else in my life), and weirded-out because my Mom keeps suggesting that I should be bitter about how little M. has been involved in my life. She has said things like, "If you need money, you should ask M. He owes you, and he's got plenty of money." Oh, Mom. There's a can of worms I have no interest in opening right now...

Ugh! I'm getting morose! Stop me.

Bye!

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