I was offered the job at the atlas company. I might very well be driving all over this great county of Cook, mapping street signs and stop lights soon. Provided I can pass the drug test, which I took yesterday. The only reason this could be trouble is that about three weeks ago I smoked some of the you-know-what. I was at a party, and what the hell...next thing you know... So anyway, I'm not a habitual smoker by any stretch of the imagination, so I don't imagine there will be a problem, but who knows. So far I have not heard anything.

So the other night, my Mom calls me. She says, "Did your Dad call you tonight?" I say yes, he did. Then she wants to know what he said. When it's determined that he didn't say anything about her, she tells me she is calling to give me her "side of the story." Huh? I say. Then she goes into this long story about some paperwork for the (now burned) house my Dad was too lazy to get changed over from both their names to just his name. So now that the insurance settlement is on its way, they will have to share it, and there is some kind of strife between Mom and Dad about it. Dad is saying Mom is screwing him over, she is telling him that it's not her fault, since he was supposed to do his part and didn't do it. The whole time she's telling me all this, I'm just sitting there thinking, "I will not take sides, I will not take sides," and hoping that Mom will not ask me to. Thankfully, she didn't, or at least not in so many words. Right after the divorce, Mom and Dad were so much friendlier towards each other, but anymore it's like they can't find enough reasons to argue. I'm an only child, so I can't even share this with siblings. I typically have to be the "adult" and not take sides. I don't like to be forced to be an adult.

Then there's the whole visit with the best friend these past few days. I feel very guilty saying this, but I don't know if we're best friends anymore. I find that many times we end up arguing and misunderstanding each other more than enjoying each other's company. But then, there are things I can tell her that I can't tell anyone else. And she does know me probably better than I know myself. But sometimes I wonder if we've maybe outgrown each other. I feel as if I've made some real leaps in life--getting married, being truly happy, living in a great big city that I love, finally being financially stable...and when I am in her world, suddenly I'm time-traveling back to three (or more) years ago, when I was poor, loveless, and burned out, living in K.C. She is still poor. She's still living that life we used to live--staying up all night, sleeping late, living on macaroni and cheese, borrowing money from the parents. Sure, that used to be okay, but we're on the far end of our twenties now! Isn't it time to get our lives together? Am I just pulling the wool over my own eyes, thinking that just because I'm married now I have a life? But I do feel like I have a life! Oh, hell. I know the answer to this already. The answer is as simple as can be:

Of course!

This entry is long enough. I'm through spewing for now.