A.M. Called me last night, just before C. and I were on our way out the door to see Ghost World. We never made it to the movie because I was too sad to go after she told me the news: She had an abortion. Yeah, I was shocked. She found out she was pregnant about three weeks ago, and they just hid themselves away until they could come to a decision about it. Turns out that she and A.S. had conflicting opinions about children. She thought she didn't want kids, but when she found that she was pregnant, she started thinking otherwise. A.S. has never wanted kids. He has always been very up-front about his feelings on the matter.

So they decided that now was not the time. A.S. is going to go to therapy to sort out his feelings about kids, and A.M. is probably going with him.

Ugh. I support them in their decision, since it's their decision to make whether they want kids or not. But what a terrible thing to have to deal with. How much sadness can two people bear? First A.M.'s Dad dies, then Sh. is suddenly killed, then A.M. gets pregnant and has an abortion. I can only imagine how it must have felt to make such a hard decision. I just felt so crushingly sad for both of them. What a horrible year they've had. I hope I can stand up to the challenge of being a good friend to them in their time of need. I'm so clumsy when it comes to comforting someone who is in deep grief. Why? I guess because I've had very little of it in my life until now. I always feel like the best thing for someone when they feel sad is to try to make them laugh, to cheer them up. But what I worry about then is making them feel like I'm dismissing their pain. There is nothing worse than seeing someone I love in pain.

If anyone out there has any suggestions, I'd be open to hearing them...

The weather has been so gloomy too. It's not helping my mood. I know the heat was really intense, but now it's actually quite cold. Feels like Fall. I'm not ready yet.