After I wrote yesterday's entry, I strapped on my tennis-shoe skates and met C. at the El stop. He said that he will always remember the sight of me grinning like a fool, skating towards him on the busy afternoon sidewalk.

I made up my mind that I am going to put tragedy on hold for the weekend. We slept in nice and late today. Sat in the kitchen for longer than usual, nursing warm cups of creamy-sweet coffee and bagels slathered with cream cheese. Took showers, got dressed. Started cleaning the very dusty apartment. Decided that we needed a break from cleaning to do it. Heh. I mean, we're not made of stone, for god's sake! Continued with cleaning. We didn't turn the TV or radio on, playing only old CDs we knew would cheer us up.

I feel much better. It's been wonderful. I don't feel guilty. I think that the dead would only want the living to appreciate life while they have it.

And now? Off to the doberman bar to drink with close friends. Yeah.