(ring, ring)

Me: Hello?

C: Hi, it's me!

Me: Are you on your way home now?

C: Yes, I'm walking to the train right now. You're still picking me up at the stop so we can go to the thing tonight, right?

Me: Yeah, I was just getting ready to leave.

C: I wanted to ask you for a favor.

Me: Okay, what?

C: Well, I just got a whiff of myself, and frankly, I smell. Can you bring a clean shirt with you...and my deodorant too? I hate to put deodorant on a stinky body, but since we're in a hurry...

Me: Ew, gross! Okay, I'll do it. Which shirt should I bring for you? And what about pants? Are you okay with your pants?

(pause, then muted laughter on C.'s end)

C: Heh, yeah, I think I'm okay with my pants...(guffaw, guffaw)

What a punk-ass, my husband.