Also, I had a little incident that made me worry that things were not going well. I was told to plant my ass down on the couch and get tons of rest. I'm so lucky we have satellite TV. I think I would have lost my mind, lying there with only a few channels to entertain me for the two full days. As it is, I felt I was slowly going nutty anyway, feeling my ass spread (I know, I'm pregnant now, I shouldn't worry about that stuff, but old habits die hard) and my brain turn to mush. C. really rose to the occasion, making some kick-ass stir fry for dinner and chilaquiles for breakfast with homemade tomatillo salsa. Bringing me glasses of water, turning on lamps for me, giving me hugs and kisses. What a fantastic husband I have.

I got the okay from the midwife to get up today. I'm feeling better now, or at least as good as one can feel in the first trimester. I'm not nauseous, which is nice. But I'm feeling a little dizzy-lightheaded! Woo! Who needs drugs?

While I was sitting on the couch, I started getting all philosophical about this thing. Getting preggo, having a baby. Hm. The first tests of motherhood. I worried and wondered and put all of my energy into getting here, all pregnant, and now I see that this is only the beginning. The first three months are a challenge to see if this kid is going to make it. Miscarriage is most likely during this time. So you worry, "Will it take this time?" and you scrutinize every little twinge.

So say you get past the three-month mark. Then there's another six month gauntlet of tests, challenges, raging hormones, pokings, proddings, ultrasounds, belly-patting, and "friendly" advice from everyone.

And then there's the big deal: Birthin' that baby. We all know what kind of anticipation, fear, and excitement that entails.

Then, there's the whole rest of your life, your kids' life. Watching over the little life you've created. Nurturing, guiding, building, helping. What a big job.

I think it's okay. I'm facing the best daunting task of my life.