Aug.28.02

It's so quiet in our neighborhood at 4:30 in the morning, so dark and peaceful. It seems somehow impossible that I could have been awake, or mostly awake, since 3:40. What have I been doing?

I stayed in bed for as long as I could, but in the end, The Heartburn That Would Not Go Away won out. I ate two Tums (or was it three?) while lying in bed, trying to get rid of that burn-y, stomach-y feeling and it just would not go. That's what I get for having an almost-grown baby in my belly--my digestive system is seriously crowded in there, and it doesn't like that one bit.

So here I sit, nibbling on saltines and sipping on water, feeling the baby move a little, listening to the soft, distant sounds of traffic on the freeway and the Blue Line sliding smoothly from stop to stop. Our house is close enough to make it easy to hear them, but not so close as to make it a nuisance. They sound almost like a sigh...

It's times like this when I want to get dressed and go outside. Enjoy the dark and the cool air that feel like they belong to only me. Get on the Blue Line and ride somewhere. I wish C. could get up with me and we could share this time. Have tea and sit on the porch. Go for a walk in the dark. Just for the hell of it.

I don't think it's too much to say that C. was bowled over by my letter, by the way. In return, he came home last evening with a big bouquet of flowers and that little-boy look he gives me when he is trying to make me happy. It worked. I love him terribly much.

square - hip