What do I want out of the new year? I want more direction for myself. I want to develop new interests, like knitting and art. I want to exercise as a form of therapy and possibly I would like to go to actual therapy too.

I have the resources, I just have to motivate.

Seeing E. grow and learn is a big priority, of course. I am excited about all of the opportunities for learning that he is about to experience. There is so much out there for kids to do, and he's quickly becoming more of a kid and less of a baby.

Yay for growth!

This morning, while I was in a half-asleep state, my mind started ticking off the months and I think I have decided that Spring of 2005 sounds like a good time to try for baby #2. Like, say, April or May. May would be super-cool, because that would mean that the kid could be born in February, like me. E. will be almost two-and-a-half, which means he'd be just over three by the time the new baby came. Not bad, right?

But then, you know how unpredictable these things can be. And I haven't even told C. about my plan. And I haven't discussed this with my good ol' ticking clock. But having a plan is a good thing for me. It helps to have a time frame, so I can comfort myself with a look at the calendar when I get babylust.

The pressure is still there. I now know three women who's babies were born within a month of E., who are pregnant with #2. I have no alliance, no mama with a similarly-aged babe to commiserate with. Not that it's necessary, just that it would be nice.

Ugh, I'm rambling. It's noon and I haven't taken a shower. Time to get off my ass and do something with this day before it's gone.

Hey, happy new year, everyone. Hope it's grand.