Oct.11.04

Why do I hold people at arm's length? I feel like I have so many people I call "friend," but when I happen to get a glimpse of how they feel about me, I realize that maybe I'm not revealing enough of myself. I guess it's a fear of people not liking me. My stupid low self esteem, once again.

I do little things to put distance between me and the people I am friends with. Seems like the more I like someone, the less I call and write. The stakes are too high, if you know what I mean.

Boy, I kind of feel like a loser talking this way. Today is supposed to be a happy day! It's E.'s birthday today, he's two. I plan to write a little thingy for him...I will post it later.

square - hip