In the last few years, he has not remembered my birthday, and he barely was able to show up for my wedding. When he did show up for the wedding, he found a way to run off with his girlfriend after a couple of hours, and I didn't see him again the rest of the weekend. This year has been particularly bad. He really screwed up last Christmas by first telling me that he wasn't going to be in KC, so I made plans to go to C.'s for the holidays instead. I wanted to come to KC to be with my family, but without Dad, it was too difficult. THEN, about a week before Christmas, I'm talking to him and he says something about spending Christmas in KC. I said, "Hey! But you told me you were going to spend it with Girlfriend!" And--get this--he says, "No, I never said that. We always planned to stay in KC!"

(!)

There was really no use arguing. There was nothing I could do anyway.

After that, I don't think I heard from my Dad 'til I got this email today.

And yes, I did make an effort to contact him. He's impossible to get ahold of! He has two phone lines and no answering machine or caller ID. He is also never, ever, ever home--he's pretty much always at Girlfriend's house--so there's no point in calling at all. Email? Done that. No answer. I even did something I shouldn't have done and told Mom how he forgot my birthday (again) and how disappointed I was that he didn't even send a card or call or even email. She was able to find him and try to give him a guilt trip on my behalf, but there's no use in doing that since he's impervious to guilt.

This wouldn't bother me so much if he was always like this, but he didn't used to be this way. I remember that when I was a kid he was great. Dad used to take me everywhere with him and we had fun. I used to go with him to the construction sites where he worked and I'd joke around with the goofy, rude, crude workers that were his friends, and I'd "help" him by pounding nails into wood, or sweeping or filling nail holes with drywall mud. When I fell ill at school, he would pick me up and take me to our favorite Cajun restaurant and we'd eat spicy Gumbo together. He always helped me with my homework. We'd play catch together in the yard. Once, he even took me out of school to show me this really cool Muppets exhibit at the museum. Dad would always buy me a candy bar or a soda if I wanted one. Mom said he spoiled me, and we both knew it was true, but what are Dads for?

He was a great Dad. What happened??

Welll, I could take some guesses. Maybe it was the time I took up with that ultra-psycho guy and Dad ended up throwing me out of the house? I think the divorce really took the wind out of his sails too.

And then of course, there's Girlfriend. Did I mention she's my age? Yup.

What can you do with family? If they're great, you have to love 'em; If they suck, you have to love 'em.