March.06.02 Last night I had a paranoia attack. It happens. Hell, it's bound to happen when one is in her first trimester, all hormonal and stuff. I got it in my head that I didn't "feel pregnant" anymore. That I'd had a miscarriage. C. kept trying to break down my arguments but the thing is, it is virtually impossible to convince a hormonal woman who has done her homework of anything. I kept showing him book after book that said that one of the signs of miscarriage can be just not feeling pregnant anymore. He kept saying that it's entirely possible that I'm just having a symptom-free pregnancy, and that I should just enjoy it! He just didn't know as much as I did, or at least that was my thinking. In the end, C. figured that what I really needed was a lot of hugging and cuddling and to take another pregnancy test. Hey! There's an idea! So I took a test. And yes, I'm still pregnant. I felt a little silly, but a lot better. It's easy to get worried. There's a lot to worry about. I try hard not to let it get to me, but sometimes the pressure is too much. Why didn't anyone tell me how scary this can be?? I guess if I'd known, I might not have wanted to do it. Or, possibly, I wouldn't have believed it. |